People get obsessed with agents and keep asking me how to get them because agents refuse to talk to them unless you are recommended to them. And of course they cannot get recommended because they know nobody and life is unfair and agents are prejudiced etc etc etc.

Well here is the good news: you don't need them until you are earning money as a writer! They will chase you if you start selling scripts. The BBC and most major production houses, if they are interested in anything of yours, will get you an agent because it's just easier for their contract people to deal with reputable agents than crazy writers. The agent, having done nothing for you, will take ten per cent of the deal just to sign off on a standard contract. And of course if you are in Hong Kong or Singapore, production companies hate dealing with agents anyway and for that matter there aren't that many agents operating in the screenwriter or director arena.

Have some pity for the agent. An agent has to pay the rent of his office, his lunch bills, his networking bills, his telephone bills, his secretary etc etc. He must make a lot of sales a week. And ten per cent of very little is not going to do it for them. That's why they concentrate on big projects with big names involved and spend a lot of time trying to woo big clients from other agencies.

And producers will look at unagented scripts. Most producers are not worth going to because they have no money or are too busy. So preferably find ones you know and can develop some kind of relationship with. Maybe the guy without money can partner up with you and take on the business of packaging the script with you along as a producer rather than merely a writer. In short, meet, greet, and get to know. Find the bitter old guys looking for one last bite and who are happy to teach you all they know about the business. Find the young guys who know zip but are full of energy. Even better to find the hot guys with a string of successes, but you and a million others want to meet with them. It pays to have allies, even if they are a bit iffy. And right this moment, you are iffy so don’t be so fussy. Find friends who will, for a piece of the action, promote you.

But remember the big companies, like the BBC, like Working Title, like Warners or Dreamworks, have guys who read, who take pitches from writers, and more to the point, writers who do not have agents. You just have to ask them to look at your work the right way. And what is the right way? Well, you might find that a Writers Manager is what you need.

WRITERS MANAGERS

You pay them to critique your script and then if they think it worthwhile, they will help develop it and get it to various people like Agents and Producers, who they think would benefit you. You pay them a set fee. It costs money but it is a good investment for the right project. This way you can get recommended to ICM or CAA or any other big agency. On the other hand, they will tell you whether it truly is ready or viable in the market place as they see it. Remember... IF IT IS THE RIGHT SCRIPT! IN THE MARKET AS THEY SEE IT!

And they can be wrong. But be assured that the great script stands out. And jaded writers managers who are paid to deal with dull mediocrity for the most part, are highly tuned to anything that shows the slightest sign of life. So do not dismiss their opinions lightly, but if you think they are wrong, try a second opinion. That's the nice thing about Writers Managers. You just pay for another one! If you really cannot afford them, then you need to organise your life and save your money so that you can. Which might be tough but that is the way it is.
To get an agent...

YOU NEED A TRACK RECORD.

If you don't know anyone, can't get anywhere with your script, it's because you have no track record, and/or the script is rubbish. It might however, be a good script, just not one with much market potential, and certainly not aimed at a market that an agent will think worth their while chasing.

So use it to get some TV episodes. Don't hold out for the big deal. It won't happen unless you have a track record. If you are earning money for an agent he will think you worth cultivating and will team you up with people like directors and producer or even themselves, to steer you towards writing something marketable. Show them that you want to work for money and are not just a hobbyist or someone obsessed with the one idea. People do get lucky with their first script. They put it into an envelope and send to a complete stranger who then pays them a lot of money. It happens. But not to you. Some people win the lottery. YOU DON’T. Do not get sidetracked by the publicity handed out to these lucky few. Rarety makes it newsworthy. 

IN SHORT: GET A TRACK RECORD!

In the UK, use your feature script as a sample. Send it to script editors on TV shows, along with your request to go and pitch ideas to them.

But in the US, check out the shows and prepare sample episodes. Use the skills you think you have, on the basis of having written a  likable unproduceable feature, but prepare sample episodes. Go for the soaps, go for the arena that is always short of writers. Start where you can start.

Get a track record. Do not just hold out for the big bucks. Get a track record. Get in the business. Get working and earning. Do not just wait and whine about it. Lower your sights if you have to. Work for Lloyd Kaufman! Get a track record as an earning hardworking writer. And then agents will like you. Because they want to pay their rent.

NO SUCH THING AS A SCREENWRITER ANY MORE.

There are writer/producers and writer/directors. The micro-budget do it yourself approach seems to be what all the young guys are doing now. Embrace it and it is a liberation.

Get a camcorder and start making shorts for the Internet. Get on a film course. Learn how to edit. Get into the industry with skills other than merely the screenwriting skill. Get a million hits on YouTube!

Get a track record! Any track record! Make friends and influence people who work in the industry. Be in the industry, not sat at a desk writing scripts and wondering who to send them to and wondering why agents ignore your calls. THEY IGNORE YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE WASTING THEIR TIME! YOU EARN NOTHING! The Pimp only takes on the good earners who will get down on their knees and do whatever is necessary.

CONFERENCES AND NETWORKING.

Go to the Screenwriters Festivals and conferences. Go to the Film Markets. Bump into writers, producers, directors, agents. You can pitch your idea to people and generally get the feel of the industry. 

If you really think you stand a chance in Hollywood, you can go to various Pitch Markets in the US. There are lots of Screenwriter conferences there where you can talk to studio executives about your scripts. You just pay for your entrance fee and fly out there and generally have a pretty good time with lots of parties, lots of opportunities to mingle with people who really know the business.

You have to make personal contact with people. Not through e-mails, not through phone calls. You're just one of thousands. And everyone has a great script, they say. And they don't. I've read tons of them over the past 35 years and most were terrible. A few were marketable because they fitted a slot. The few that get made are the tip of a large iceberg. And the few that are any good are an even smaller number. And so, nobody reads if they can help it. NOBODY READS BECAUSE IT IS NOT WORTH READING!

Of course, you read, you who has that job reading for an agent, you who is a screenwriter looking for an agent, looking for an in, who is now doing an internship at an agency or in a producers office, for FREE! Reading all those scripts and recommending your friends... YOU READ... and suggest an idea that you think the agent is looking for, and write a script much better than all those you've read... because now you know better than those schmucks who are just hoping the writing does all the work for them...

Get a track record as an earner. Agents will fight over you.

Don't let not having an agent stop you. And if nobody stops you, the agent will stalk you.